Baby Boredom

When we first began talking about trying for a baby, my mother-in-law warned me about my husband's energy levels as a toddler. She described scenes where she was walking down the street, observing other mothers and their toddlers, walking in serenity, hand-in-hand down the sidewalk. Some mothers pointed things out to their toddling little ones by way of teaching them about the world via observation and informative discussion. With a sigh, she would turn her attention upon her OWN little son, who resembled the ball from a pinball machine, zooming from bush to lamppost to crack in the sidewalk to parking meter and back to mom again. Ding ding ding ding ding!!

She asked me if I really knew what I was getting myself into.

With a reassuring gesture and a slightly amused look, I told her that she needed to keep in mind that the baby would also be half ME, and that I was a quiet, well-behaved child who really didn't do much.

"I never said he was naughty," she said dryly. "He was just....high-energy." I laughed it off, and didn't think much more about it until we actually DID become pregnant, and around the 18-week mark, began anticipating those first little kicks from the inside.

What I did NOT anticipate, once they'd started, was the AMOUNT of kicking that I would endure for the remainder of my pregnancy. What had I glibly joked about the baby being half me? No. This baby was ALL my husband. It kicked me even in its sleep, and when it wasn't kicking, it was poking. There were times when I swore the thing was practising jumping jacks or making snow angels (it WAS half-Canadian, after all). As the due date loomed closer and closer, the kicking got more and more powerful. I joked with friends about the baby trying to find its own way out by a side door, and that it needed to be reminded that the exit was SOUTH.

Please exit by the south door...

After Bradley was born, I could finally see for myself what he had been up to in utero. The kid spends most of his time kicking - one foot after the other, like he's climbing stairs on one eternal Stairmaster. Our first attempts at diaper changes were disastrous, as his little feet would kick-kick-kick; the diaper would get kicked off, the feet would get into the contents of the diaper, kicking would accelerate as mom or dad would try to catch the now-dirty feet and well, you can envision the rest, I'm guessing. He would kick and flail in his sleep (yes, even though he was swaddled!), waking himself up every time this happened, so you can imagine how restful our time in the hospital was (at home we figured out that putting a towel in his crib that had been rolled up at either end would keep him in one place, minimizing the movement and therefore, maximizing the sleep, much to the horror of the home-nurse).

With such an active kid, you'd think maybe he would be happy to kick and flail to his heart's content all day long, but this is not the case.

Bradley gets BORED.

Oh, don't get me wrong. During his newborn days, he was happy to sleep for most of the day (with episodes of epic breastfeeding in between...see earlier notes), but as he's now nearing the two-month mark, he's awake for a lot longer periods and the kid's attention span lasts five to ten minutes.

He's just like his father. We have spawned another Drew.

You can't accuse me of being unprepared. Drew's mum DID warn me.

I have a baby swing given to me by my sister after her baby was finished with it. It's ELECTRIC...read: you don't have to keep winding it up and it will never stop if you don't want it to. LOVE it. Bradley likes it for a while, and even falls asleep in it sometimes. But it's not a guaranteed sell for him.

We also bought a second-hand vibrating bouncy chair at Once Upon a Child (LOVE that store). More than one friend with a baby had recommended this item. In fact, anyone we spoke to said this item was absolutely INDISPENSABLE, and they didn't know how they would've gotten along without it. If I could put Bradley's reaction to the vibrating bouncy chair into one word (if he could utter words at this point), his word would be: "Meh." Seriously. He could take it or leave it, and when he's upset, he doesn't like it at ALL. This chair only buys me about 4 minutes of "sans-baby" time...just about long enough for me to dash to the bathroom, and only if I have to go "number one".

Bradley also has numerous toys and beautiful stuffed animals, but as he's only just started tracking, focusing, and really paying attention to things we vainly try to amuse him with, these have been sitting by the wayside, waiting patiently for their turn in Bradley's life.

Knowing all this, and that Bradley should apparently be spending some playtime on his tummy (something we hadn't been able to do for more than 2 minutes without him either falling asleep or throwing up), I decided to invest in a playmat/playgym idea. Also knowing my little son's pickiness with toys so far and knowing his father's tendencies towards ADHD, I endeavoured to procure the Rolls Royce of baby playmats. It took some doing, but eventually we managed to get the Baby Einstein Baby Neptune Ocean Adventures Playmat (see pictures below), complete with all the bells and whistles. It even comes with a crib toy (attached to the playmat for now) that looks like an ocean playground and has a little light show, set to bell-like versions of famous orchestral compositions by Mozart and Beethoven. Very flashy and VERY cool.

The Baby Einstein Baby Neptune Ocean Adventures Playmat

(say that ten times fast!!)

And hopefully...very entertaining...?

So far it seems to be working...until next week, when I'm anticipating he will be bored with each and every toy on that playmat, no matter how I rearrange them or no matter which verbal sound effects I use when trying to elicit his attention with them (much to the amusement of the dog).

I've definitely got my work cut out for me for the rest of this maternity leave, but call me a sucker, I'm looking forward to it. In any case, you can't say my mother-in-law didn't warn me.

Oooh! Pretty lights!